Photo by Whispered Secrets
I’m not sure if it was the way that I was raised or being the youngest of three, but I have never been a jealous person. When I come across people who are extremely full of envy over just about everything, it always confuses me.
It’s definitely easier looking from the outside and knowing when someone’s behavior isn’t the best logical way to go about their situation. A few weeks ago I literally heard a woman in the grocery store freaking out of the fact that her man said that Gwen Stefani looks really good for her age. The proper response should have been “It’s true!” not “So I don’t look good?” I mean, for all I know maybe he is a guy that never pays his woman compliments but, if that’s the case, maybe she should know her worth and what she wants from a mate.
Some may say, jealousy can fuel motivation. This is also referred to as ‘professional jealousy’. Van Morrison had a song about it and everything. I feel there is a major difference between being jealous and working harder vs. finding inspiration in something and working harder. If you’re not sure of what your intentions are for your goals, then is the hard work really worth it? One should definitely see inspiration in things they want and work harder toward having this for themselves. This inspiration should also trigger ways to improve upon an idea or goal you want for yourself. Make what you want your own and special to you. I look at it as jealousy is fueled by the ego and inspiration is fueled by self love. Let go of the ego!
Do you think there are some pros to being jealous?
Photo by HetHerz
On the other hand, some folks become jealous after they are wronged. In these situations, it’s best to figure out what bullshitary took place that made your eyes green with envy. Is the person you’re interested in suddenly hanging out with other people? Were you cheated on one too many times? Did someone in the store grab the last dress in your size right as you were reaching for it?
Whatever the case may be, jealousy is usually a by-product of insecurity and low self-worth. A major fear of most people is being abandoned or rejected. A lot of people pour their whole identity into just one thing and when what they hope for doesn’t work out, it shakes their confidence. I personally try to handle these situations by thinking “It wasn’t meant for it to work and there is something better for me!” It’s easier to get caught up in a negative cycle rather than work harder to improve your situation. I would rather just bust my ass to make it better because in the long run, this is what is most important to me. Life isn’t always going to bend over backwards for you, so you should always make the most out of what you can. When life gives you oranges, you make Screwdrivers.
The best advice I can give on improving your self worth is, make decisions as though you have all of the confidence in the world. At some point, your feelings will catch up with your actions. I have literally mastered the art of not giving a shit. It wasn’t something that happened overnight, but if I am rejected or ‘wronged’, it doesn’t break me. I am aware that people are short-sighted and have free will. You can’t blame yourself and you have to remember that you are good enough. Even if you’ve messed up, use it as an opportunity to learn something new. It is one of the biggest secrets of a truly confident person.
Veronica Varlow had an awesome post yesterday on building a circle of seven. It’s all about making you own circle of inspiration when you need it the most. What are some ways you look for inspiration? How do you build your confidence?
Stay confident and lovely,