Posts Tagged ‘trolls’

Holy Troll Batman!

Thursday, June 20th, 2013


Hi guys!

What the troll is going on? Recently, I an got electronic love letter from a lovely woman that decided to tell me that there is no way I am as happy as I appear on the internet. I informed the woman that, I do have my bad days but for the most part I try to live my life to the fullest. She then responded with “BULLSHIT!”. Instead of responding to the e-mail, I decided it would be best to address the matter with a blog post.

I’m sure there are many of us who have experienced the people lurking about on the internet that only can find joy in trying to completely humiliate others. It’s obvious they are doing this just to make themselves feel accomplished and proud. We all try to believe that most people DO mean well and are good deep down inside but face it, it seems like there can be a lot of not so pleasant people on the mean streets of the internet.

When people hide in their living rooms behind a computer screen they feel invisible. People become super villains when they think they can get away with it. They tend to do things that they otherwise wouldn’t. When you think about it, we are all a little narcissistic on the internet and when some people get caught up in this narcissism they like to pick on people that aren’t their norm.


So what is it that we are supposed to do about these trolls? Do we just tip toe around on the internet and hope that we are never the target of these dreaded beasts? Do we just stop talking to people on the internet all together? HELL TO THE NO! Granted avoiding speaking with anyone on the internet would guarantee that you never have another encounter with a troll…we all know we are very much so addicted to the cyber greatness that is the internet.

So we ALL at this point know not to feed the trolls. These creatures feed off of negativity. The best way to battle the negative is with positive. Do you have that one person that constantly disagrees with everything you put on your personal Facebook timeline? Agree with them in the most positive sarcastic way you possibly can. This usually sends the troll in a blind rage which in turn makes you the winner. To top it all off, you might get a few laughs out of your friends who are witnessing the troll and it’s dark cloud of doom. For the life of me, I will never understand the concept of disagreeing with someone on their own personal Facebook page. Stay as positive as possible and it will make dealing with trolls much more pleasant.


Sadly, sometimes the troll doesn’t pick up what you’re putting down. The troll can possibly stick around longer than you’ve expected them to. If you find yourself in this situation, you’ll have to put them down for the long sleep. Not the mobster style long sleep, but rid them from your virtual sanctuary. Blocking is ALWAYS an option. Most social sites and e-mail services give you the option of blocking someone from contacting you. If only blocking one troll could prevent future troll forest fires for everyone on the internet. That would be a HELL of an option.

If you think about it, the main objective of a troll is to silence you. Instead of doing or saying anything there is always the option of giving the troll exactly what they want…silence. Don’t say or do anything that might trigger them.  Let their hateful, negative, Darth Vader blacken hearted comments fester right where they are…UNANSWERED. If they continue to leave lame comments, they will expose themselves by trying to get you to react. I like this idea because all you really have to do is nothing and you win. Like they say “love your haters”, their rage should bring you joy because you’ve officially won. The more they stomp their giant feet under their internet troll bridge screaming at the top of their lungs, the more and more you win. If it ever gets to be intense and you’ve had enough time within your glory remember to block, report, delete, exorcise the demon, or whatever it requires to silence the troll out of your domain.


Have some sympathy for the trolls of the world wide web. While you’re out dancing in the streets, blowing bubbles, having a picnic, and having the time of your life they are spending hours of their time obsessing over how to be negative. Go out and have the kick ass life that we all know you earned because you rock and you win. The more glitter in your life, the more the troll loses.

We all hope that these creatures would have a change of heart and realize they are in the wrong. Recently I had a conversation with my favorite angry Australian, Aaron. He had a moment where he realized he was being a bit of a jerk for all of the wrong reasons. He admitted he was wrong and he was actually rewarded and admired for this. If only other people can have this moment of clarity and the world was troll free. We would all be making sweet internet love and not war.

Why do you think internet trolls are a thing? What are some of the Darth Vader cold hearted moments that you’ve experienced on the internet?

Stay sexy Gotham!