Posts Tagged ‘friends’

How to deal with being criticized and not critiqued.

Wednesday, March 6th, 2013

bestie

We all should surround ourselves with people that support us and believe in us. It should be one of the main goals when building your circle of friends. Something that can easily sneak into your circle of friends is a Judge-y Julie. You know, that one friend that seems to think they are doing you good when what they are telling you is coming from a negative and dark place. They think they are giving you a positive critique but really, they are just criticizing your every step.

I’ve been coming across some Judge-y Julies lately and I thought this would be the best time for a post like this to happen. Call it jealousy, angry, or whatever, we all know these people are looking to bring down others just to make themselves feel better. I am not sure how projecting their thoughts and emotions onto someone else will help their situation at all, but hopefully this how to guide will help you be able to deal with them the next time they come around. Here is how to handle someone in your life that is criticizing your every move.

Don’t worry, be happy! Most Judge-y Julies are pretty unhappy people. It’s important to play detective and really think about what is making this person act the way they are acting. People that are judging you are usually doing this to cover their own insecurities 99.9% of the time. They often have a bunch of negative rubbish going on in their lives and use this method as their defense.

Lend a ear. It may sound crazy but actually listening to the person instead of fighting back might make the person criticize you less. I personally try to use most of this judgement as a learning experience. Try to see the positive in the negative even if it is very difficult. It will put you that much above the judgement and possibly help you.There is always a possibility there is SOME truth in what the person is saying but maybe not. Just hear them out before pulling out your sword.

“Why thank you good sir!” Thanking the person for their opinion might throw the person for a loop. The person is looking for drama. If you just simply agree, they will have nowhere to go with the criticism. It will more than likely just stop there because they didn’t get what they wanted from the initial judgement.

Confidence looks super sexy on you. If someone is judging you it isn’t coming from any positive place. Don’t let these criticism get you down. Know that you’re amazing and brilliant and the best unicorn on the block. Always be proud of yourself and the fact that you’re working towards your goals. The Judge-y Julie isn’t perfect! Why are you letting her bring you down?

Speak up for yourself! The best thing you can do in the situation is tell the person how they are making you feel. Let them know that they are being hurtful and if they cared they would stop being a jerk-face. Just keep it friendly! Do not say this in a harsh or threatening way or this will indeed start an argument.

Everyone has an opinion, and there is really nothing at all wrong with this. Some people just don’t have a filter on their opinion and frankly don’t give a shit how you feel after they express it. Try to chuckle off the comments and remember that these Judge-y Julies are speaking from their faults and failures and it is possible they really think they are helping.

I understand the rude remakes can make you not want to move forward with your goals and dreams. You decided to follow these goals and dreams because you knew that it will help you get to where you are happiest. Don’t let someone pass their shortcomings onto you. It’s not right, at all. Never feel as if you have to explain yourself to anyone and if all else fails, fake it until you make it so the Judge-y Julies have nothing negative to say. Typically, if you feel as if you can’t achieve something, that idea was put there by someone else.

Remember there is a big difference between positive and negative feedback. You should always be able to tell the difference. Do you know a Judge-y Julie? How do you handle her (or him, there can be a Judge-y John)? I would love to hear about your experiences and how you personally handled the situation.

Proud survivor of judgement,
Screen Shot 2012-12-15 at 6.05.55 PM

Random Post of Happy for March 1st.

Friday, March 1st, 2013

imgres

Do everything and nothing with a friend and still have an amazing time.

xo, a go go,

Screen Shot 2012-12-15 at 6.05.55 PM

Sprinkles vs Sparkles.

Friday, December 7th, 2012

I would like to thank all of you that has been on this insanely vibrant, amazing, fun-tastic journey of being a blogger thus far. Today marks the one month anniversary of my blog and I am ever so grateful for all of the wonderful people in my life and the unbelievable support.

I couldn’t think of a better day to introduce Sprinkles vs Sparkles. This will be something I will post weekly (typically at the end of the week). It’s sort of a gratitude list on steroids. I will post all of my sprinkles, which will be things i’ve come across during the week that I fell in love with. I will then follow it up with all of my sparkles which will be things I am particularly proud of, excited about doing, or things I have achieved.

With that said, let’s get this party started!

Sprinkles

 I LOVE when couples take adorable and creative photos to document event in their lives. This couple had the cutest most amazing series of photos documenting how a baby is formed.

♡ Something I am probably going to buy if I get a bunch of extra Christmas money.

This necessary awesomeness.

 

Such an amazing conversation (and funny) between Joseph Gorden-Levitt and Rainn Wilson. Super inspiring.

Mr.Watts gets it right every time. I would SO buy this car because of him.

Greatest chase of all time.

 Loved these helpful freelancing tips.

 This gift guide to help us crazy busy unorganized people get it together. It was posted on the wonderful Crown and Glory blog.

 A really amaze-balls episode of The Walking Dead. Sadly, they will be testing the world’s patience because it will be continued in February 2013.

 This how to guide on making giant ass beautiful flowers.

 

Sparkles

♡ I’m in love with the mini playdates I’ve had with friends this week. There is nothing more magical than getting together and catching up with people you adore.  Remembering that I have these amazing shoes♡ I made it a point to smile at every stranger I saw all week. To my surprise no one was weirded out and smiled back. ♡ Sent out endless e-mails for future projects for Sprinkles and Booze along with my other ventures. Had a brilliant amount of good responses so there should be some exciting things in the near future so stay tuned.  Did tons of research about proper finance planning and feeling more like an adult now. ♡ I made a fantastic juice similar  to this. It was to DIE for. I want to juice everything now.   Found out I will be have Creative Suite soon on my new Macbook Pro so loads of photos and design projects will be coming to a blog near you.   Watched countless hours of The Twilight Zone while eating cherries. ♡ Being reunited with this ring ♡ The unreal amount of love (tough and sweet) that I’ve received within my first month of this fantastic venture. I am so grateful and proud of how things are coming along and I seriously love all of you bunnies for life. 

 

Finding out that this party is happening in my life this weekend. CAN NOT WAIT!

xo, a go go bye!
Latanya Rene