Posts Tagged ‘Dating’

Love is blind.

Tuesday, April 30th, 2013

lovesprinkles

This post is going to be a bit different as far as “fun” topics but I will try my best to make it as fun as possible. I have had the amazing honor to be on several episodes of the Black Girl Nerds Podcast. Last night’s topic was on interracial relationships and you can give it a listen, here.

Before the show, I was super excited because i’ve dated multiple races and had a lot to say on the topic. Also, I might add if it wasn’t for the “swirl” I wouldn’t exist. The show ended on a somewhat intense but brilliant note. The overall podcast was an hour and a half but there was still SO much to be said and hopefully we will be able to have a part-two for this topic.  The discussion made me think of things I never have thought of and never realized a lot of people still have to deal with in 2013. I mean, you would think a lot of these problems would be dissolved by now.

Currently, I am being courted by someone who is white but it never once was a thought in my mind that, “Man, this is going to be a challenge because we have different color skin”. I go into most relationships thinking “This is going to be a relationship and it is going to be hard as hell!” Most relationships are a challenge on their own without race even being in the equation.

In my personal life, I have dealt more with black men having a problem with me dating outside of my race, more so than black women. Like i’ve mentioned last night on the show, it’s due to them not being able to date me because I am in a relationship. But for some reason the fact that the person has a different skin color, it is the first thing they notice. They say things like “You think you’re too good for black men” and a mixed bag of other nonsense and it seriously blows my mind. What decade are we in? Aren’t we supposed to be smarter as a people?

It’s pretty shit state of things when people are still caught up on who people can and can not love. Black or white, male or female, what happened to love being blind? We all face difficulties in our lives and I feel like a lot of people manufacture complications that are completely unnecessary. Why do so many find it necessary to give their opinion on who someone loves?

I really hope we get around to talking more about this topic on the podcast because it’s something that needs to be addressed. We all need to love one another (more than ever) and stop the bullshit.

Stay sexy Gotham!
latanya

 

Ladies, men have feelings too.

Thursday, January 10th, 2013

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Dear ladies of the world,

This is addressed to the ladies of the world because over the years, I have noticed some not so awesome actions taking place.

No one ever wants to be a victim of a player. It isn’t fun to fall hard for a guy and then find out that he is dating 14 other ladies. Giving them all the same gifts, lines, and attention that he was giving you. Now, if you’ve never been in this situation before, I would gather you think it would suck but do not fully understand how much it hurts.

Over the years, I have come across a number of lady players. Now, at first I was all like “Yeah! Girl power!” and shit but it’s wrong. Mimicking the behavior of an asshole only makes you an asshole. I will never cosign on intentionally not caring about someone’s emotions when you’re aware of how much they actually care about you.

So this is where I am directly addressing my lovely ladies of the world. Here is a list of the nonsense I have been noticing that needs to stop.

If you have zero intentions on actually being close with someone that you know is REALLY into you, don’t touch him. Don’t kiss him, don’t fondle him, don’t rub his butt, don’t touch him! If you have a good idea that someone is falling hard for you but you aren’t on the same emotional level, don’t get intimate with that person.

Stop expecting him to wine and dine you. This is a HUGE one. I’ve known girls to only date guys for gifts and food. Seriously, think about it. What if it were the other way around? It’s one thing if you’re actually interested in the guy, and he wants to take you out and do something nice for you. It’s totally different when you have no intentions on being with this person but he keeps buying gifts, food, and ponies. You accept these gifts with no intention on being with this person. Not cool, bro-dettes.

Sometimes, we aren’t sure how we feel about a guy in the beginning. This is completely fine…if you express to that to the guy. Don’t allow the first two things i’ve mentioned to take place, until you are sure about your feelings towards this person.

The reason why I am addressing this matter to begin with is, I am friends with lots of great guys. I hear their sides of the story way too often. If these negative actions happen it will then turn these great guys into the guys that we’ve all grown to dislike. The players, the ‘assholes’, the disconnected, whatever the case may be. If we as women, don’t like shit treatment we need to also do our part.

I’m not saying, don’t go on dates and have fun. I’m saying communicate and don’t take advantage of someone. Believe in karma or not, it has happened over and over again. You will get burnt in the end if you keep playing with fire. It’s the ugly truth but the truth we all need to know in order to love one another. There are way too many major issues in the world for people to treat each other like assholes in their intimate relationships.

Now let’s all play nicely together because I adore all you.
mickeyminnie
Looking out for your karma,
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This used to be a fun house but now it’s a sad house.

Wednesday, November 28th, 2012

Sadhouse by Sam Rennocks

Somewhere down the line, most of my guy friends decided I was the go to female to ask about relationships. I don’t know if it’s because I like superheroes and zombies, but my opinion definitely matters to my dude-bros.

Lately there has been an overwhelming number of guys that are having women issues in my life. I don’t know if it’s something in the air or if women are getting crazier but a lot of nonsense has been taking place. I mean complete nonsense! Chicks getting back with their guys only to mess with their heads, asking to go to fancy restaurants with no intentions of being with the guy, the list is endless and not unheard of. Us ladies tend to have evil moments but it doesn’t make it okay.

Being that I am female, I do love being spoiled and attention but I also like to be an equal. For the countless amount of times that I have heard a woman talk about how a guy is an ‘asshole’, we need to also take note of our actions and intentions.  That guy has probably dated and had shit experiences in the past and expecting history to repeat itself. This is what leads the guy to be said ‘asshole’. Or he could be an actual asshole and in that case, keep it movin’!

The largest bit of advice I can give anyone, male or female is COMMUNICATE. When you are hiding things, and not being honest, and plotting and just carrying on with complete fuckery it’s not benefiting you. Just because someone bought you an expensive gift or meal, that doesn’t define you or make you a better person. Talk about how you feel about the person (or don’t feel about the person) and find that person that suits you. It’s about complimenting one another not completing one another.

Really love zombies,

Latanya Rene

“She’s a girl, and she’s my friend, but she’s not my girlfriend.”

Monday, November 26th, 2012

 

Dating can be rather…well..awful. At least I think so. About 90% of the dates I have gone on ended in me wanting to never leave my house again. I tend to go through phrases where I stop dating all together because I would rather have fun on my own than miserable with someone that is everything that I would never want.

Being in my late 20s, I started thinking about what are the qualities I am looking for in a boyfriend. I think my wants and needs are different from when I was 19. Back then I only cared about how socially acceptable the person was, if he had skills, and his favorite bands.

After a not so awesome date this past weekend, I decided to figure out what should I be looking for when deciding on whether or not someone is going to work in the long run. Because I like being scientific and doing things properly, I’ve decided to use two of my favorite fictional characters Little Pete and Big Pete in the process of figuring out the best man options.  You know it’s science when you need to reference The Adventures of Pete and Pete.

Now, lets start with the trombone artsy narrator ‘Big Pete’. Realistically, Big Pete would probably be ideal for most of the ladies. He was the voice of reason in most situations in the series and just the right amount of nerd that most women can’t help but to love. Not only was he the adorbs nerdy ginger that our young 90s brains thought was awesome, he drove the idea of “She’s a girl, and she’s my friend, but she’s not my girlfriend.” Obviously, this is something that everyone learns at some point in their lives. I mean, most women just want a cute guy that’s going to want to settle down and raise puppies. It’s in our coding for the most part and Big Pete took the step in realizing, “Hey, I actually think I should be with this person because it works!”

 

And then there was ‘Little Pete’, he was full of bitterness but somehow still had a good amount of charm. He came with his personal super-hero, Artie the Strongest Man in the World. This in my opinion made up for his snarky and sometimes twisted disposition. He was definitely the ‘bad boy’ out of the Petes and always going against authority figures. There is something oddly attractive about a little bit of bad in a man but only a little.

Both of the Petes definitely had a sense of adventure but in different ways. Big Pete enjoyed chasing UFOs while little Pete was known for his irrational decisions which lead to different types of adventures. In all honestly it comes down to if you want to be with a ‘bad boy’ or a ‘sweet boy’. There are 100s of arguments as to why ‘bad guys’ always get the ladies but it all boils down to confidence.

Little Pete definitely had a lot more confidence than Big Pete. Big Pete was always trying to let Ellen know that he was interested but never just went for it. Little Pete would have been all over that situation and would have had zero fear in the outcome. There is a saying “Mr. Right doesn’t necessarily care if he is Mr. Right.” That confidence is what attracts women because everyone loves confidence.

Sweet boys can have confidence too but usually their confidence is witty and less in your face. A sweet guy can turn on the charm when necessary to make you want to faint. Bad boys keep you on your toes and guessing to what will happen next but would you rather melt from thoughtful sweet actions? Typically in my experience, the bad boy won’t notice that necklace you’ve been looking at for months but the sweet ones always take note.

After all of this research for dating science, I honestly think it would be a tough call between the two. Are you one for getting random tattoos and possibly being arrested or would you want to go hunt big foot while eating a snow cone? Both honestly sound amazing to me. What type of Pete do you typically go for?

 

 

 

xo, a go go bye!
Latanya Rene