Posts Tagged ‘confidence’

How to be the ‘Cool Cat’ with a capital AWESOME at the Party.

Tuesday, December 4th, 2012

 

It’s Tuesday and you know what that means! Well, you probably don’t because this is the first I have done a post like this.  On Tuesdays, I will be having How To posts. They will consist of blogs and sometimes Vlogs on how to do something in a fun, festive and sometimes crazy way. I hope that you find them helpful and use some of my advice in your life. Keep it classy guys!

How To Tuesday is brought to you by the letter A for Awkward! Have you ever gone to a party alone? Or even gone with someone else but you both didn’t know anyone else and only talked to one another? Did you just want to run away screaming due to all of the awkward conversations and the amount of drinks you needed to drink to feel comfortable? Here is a quick how to guide on how to be the ‘Cool Cat’ with a capital AWESOME at the Party!

1. Wear something that makes you feel the most confident. For ladies, it can be that top that makes your boobs look fantastic and for guys it could be your best dude jeans. Whatever makes you feel the hottest is what you should have on your person. Make sure to NOT over do it. Dress with taste but also with nonchalance.

2. Ask questions! When speaking with someone show that you actually give a fuck about making friends. But not too many questions, don’t turn the situation into an interview.

3. Answer people’s questions with more than one word answers. Smile and laugh and be merry! Be sure to talk about what makes you different and interesting.  Turn the charm all the way up.

4. Move from conversation to conversation. Don’t stay in one conversation too long because then it just seems like you’re terrified of talking to other people. Be comfortable with everyone because everyone is more than likely just as awkward as you at first.

5. Pick a ‘theme song’ and listen to it before you go to the party and have it playing the the back of your mind for most of the evening.. This sounds nuts but it works. I have a personal theme that I use for most occasions which is…

 

I Like That – Richard Vission from Johana Ortiz on Vimeo.
 

6. Don’t get shit faced! It will only lead to bad things and possible pregnancy. You can definitely drink for the liquid courage we all love, but don’t make it a matter of being so drunk that you’re running around someone’s apartment in a Batman costume. Actually, that sounds amazing be that guy that is running around the party in a Batman costume but do it mostly sober.

7. Bring a bottle of booze or cupcakes. Everyone will always love the person that brings an adult beverage or adorable pieces of sugar heaven to the party.

8. Stop comparing yourself to the other ‘cool cats‘ at the party. When you compare it brings your confidence down. Just be you. If you want to be the guy that shows up with a top hat on and hot pink pants, do it! Be the best you and the truest you.

9. I suck at this myself but try to remember names. People love it when you remember their names. I know that when someone remember my name I want to send them a Thank You card in the mail.

10. Compliment your ass off. You like that girl’s shoes, tell her! Everyone loves when you point out their awesome and in turn will point out your awesome.

11. If you’re single, a little harmless flirting won’t kill anything. In this situation, eye contact is key. Just don’t be a creeper. Just charm people socks off which could lead to charming more than just the socks off.  Actually, you determine on how much you’re trying to get off. Make sure to wrap it up!

12. If you enjoy dancing, don’t dance like a complete whore. Keep it friendly. Find that happy medium between dancing alone in your bedroom and stripper? Just practice your dancing before arriving. If you don’t like to dance, get really good at the proper party head bop and occasional shoulder shimmies.

13. Arrive fashionably late and don’t be the last to leave. Everyone knows that the cool cats at the party always show up late but fabulous and leave before the party is over because they are that desired.

14. Don’t fuck it up!

Now, this guide is made for quite the extrovert because I am quite loud and flamboyant but you can still be the cool cat at the party and not say much. Go in a really cool outfit. If you have a really cool job, just tell people what you do for a living. There is also always the booze and cupcakes idea! You wouldn’t have to say much just show up with delicious stuff and people will love the fuck out of you. There is also the saying “Fake it until you make it”. If you want to be more extroverted give it a go even if you know you’re freaking out on the inside. Fake that confidence until it becomes who you know you are on the inside.

If you’re going to use some advice from my guide, make sure to be real about it. Nothing looks worse than the guy or gal that is trying way to hard. You instantly will become the person at the party that is ‘trying to be cool’ and people avoid that person like the plague. Don’t be the plague. Please and Thank You!

Always partying like it’s December 20th 2012,

Latanya Rene

This used to be a fun house but now it’s a sad house.

Wednesday, November 28th, 2012

Sadhouse by Sam Rennocks

Somewhere down the line, most of my guy friends decided I was the go to female to ask about relationships. I don’t know if it’s because I like superheroes and zombies, but my opinion definitely matters to my dude-bros.

Lately there has been an overwhelming number of guys that are having women issues in my life. I don’t know if it’s something in the air or if women are getting crazier but a lot of nonsense has been taking place. I mean complete nonsense! Chicks getting back with their guys only to mess with their heads, asking to go to fancy restaurants with no intentions of being with the guy, the list is endless and not unheard of. Us ladies tend to have evil moments but it doesn’t make it okay.

Being that I am female, I do love being spoiled and attention but I also like to be an equal. For the countless amount of times that I have heard a woman talk about how a guy is an ‘asshole’, we need to also take note of our actions and intentions.  That guy has probably dated and had shit experiences in the past and expecting history to repeat itself. This is what leads the guy to be said ‘asshole’. Or he could be an actual asshole and in that case, keep it movin’!

The largest bit of advice I can give anyone, male or female is COMMUNICATE. When you are hiding things, and not being honest, and plotting and just carrying on with complete fuckery it’s not benefiting you. Just because someone bought you an expensive gift or meal, that doesn’t define you or make you a better person. Talk about how you feel about the person (or don’t feel about the person) and find that person that suits you. It’s about complimenting one another not completing one another.

Really love zombies,

Latanya Rene

“She’s a girl, and she’s my friend, but she’s not my girlfriend.”

Monday, November 26th, 2012

 

Dating can be rather…well..awful. At least I think so. About 90% of the dates I have gone on ended in me wanting to never leave my house again. I tend to go through phrases where I stop dating all together because I would rather have fun on my own than miserable with someone that is everything that I would never want.

Being in my late 20s, I started thinking about what are the qualities I am looking for in a boyfriend. I think my wants and needs are different from when I was 19. Back then I only cared about how socially acceptable the person was, if he had skills, and his favorite bands.

After a not so awesome date this past weekend, I decided to figure out what should I be looking for when deciding on whether or not someone is going to work in the long run. Because I like being scientific and doing things properly, I’ve decided to use two of my favorite fictional characters Little Pete and Big Pete in the process of figuring out the best man options.  You know it’s science when you need to reference The Adventures of Pete and Pete.

Now, lets start with the trombone artsy narrator ‘Big Pete’. Realistically, Big Pete would probably be ideal for most of the ladies. He was the voice of reason in most situations in the series and just the right amount of nerd that most women can’t help but to love. Not only was he the adorbs nerdy ginger that our young 90s brains thought was awesome, he drove the idea of “She’s a girl, and she’s my friend, but she’s not my girlfriend.” Obviously, this is something that everyone learns at some point in their lives. I mean, most women just want a cute guy that’s going to want to settle down and raise puppies. It’s in our coding for the most part and Big Pete took the step in realizing, “Hey, I actually think I should be with this person because it works!”

 

And then there was ‘Little Pete’, he was full of bitterness but somehow still had a good amount of charm. He came with his personal super-hero, Artie the Strongest Man in the World. This in my opinion made up for his snarky and sometimes twisted disposition. He was definitely the ‘bad boy’ out of the Petes and always going against authority figures. There is something oddly attractive about a little bit of bad in a man but only a little.

Both of the Petes definitely had a sense of adventure but in different ways. Big Pete enjoyed chasing UFOs while little Pete was known for his irrational decisions which lead to different types of adventures. In all honestly it comes down to if you want to be with a ‘bad boy’ or a ‘sweet boy’. There are 100s of arguments as to why ‘bad guys’ always get the ladies but it all boils down to confidence.

Little Pete definitely had a lot more confidence than Big Pete. Big Pete was always trying to let Ellen know that he was interested but never just went for it. Little Pete would have been all over that situation and would have had zero fear in the outcome. There is a saying “Mr. Right doesn’t necessarily care if he is Mr. Right.” That confidence is what attracts women because everyone loves confidence.

Sweet boys can have confidence too but usually their confidence is witty and less in your face. A sweet guy can turn on the charm when necessary to make you want to faint. Bad boys keep you on your toes and guessing to what will happen next but would you rather melt from thoughtful sweet actions? Typically in my experience, the bad boy won’t notice that necklace you’ve been looking at for months but the sweet ones always take note.

After all of this research for dating science, I honestly think it would be a tough call between the two. Are you one for getting random tattoos and possibly being arrested or would you want to go hunt big foot while eating a snow cone? Both honestly sound amazing to me. What type of Pete do you typically go for?

 

 

 

xo, a go go bye!
Latanya Rene

Envy killed the Elephant : Part I

Tuesday, November 13th, 2012

Photo by Whispered Secrets

I’m not sure if it was the way that I was raised or being the youngest of three, but I have never been a jealous person. When I come across people who are extremely full of envy over just about everything, it always confuses me.

It’s definitely easier looking from the outside and knowing when someone’s behavior isn’t the best logical way to go about their situation. A few weeks ago I literally heard a woman in the grocery store freaking out of the fact that her man said that Gwen Stefani  looks really good for her age. The proper response should have been “It’s true!” not “So I don’t look good?” I mean, for all I know maybe he is a guy that never pays his woman compliments but, if that’s the case, maybe she should know her worth and what she wants from a mate.

Some may say, jealousy can fuel motivation. This is also referred to as ‘professional jealousy’.  Van Morrison had a song about it and everything. I feel there is a major difference between being jealous and working harder vs. finding inspiration in something and working harder. If you’re not sure of what your intentions are for your goals, then is the hard work really worth it? One should definitely see inspiration in things they want and work harder toward having this for themselves. This inspiration should also trigger ways to improve upon an idea or goal you want for yourself. Make what you want your own and special to you. I look at it as jealousy is fueled by the ego and inspiration is fueled by self love. Let go of the ego!

Do you think there are some pros to being jealous?

Photo by HetHerz

On the other hand, some folks become jealous after they are wronged. In these situations, it’s best to figure out what bullshitary took place that made your eyes green with envy. Is the person you’re interested in suddenly hanging out with other people? Were you cheated on one too many times? Did someone in the store grab the last dress in your size right as you were reaching for it?

Whatever the case may be,  jealousy is usually a by-product of insecurity and low self-worth. A major fear of most people is being abandoned or rejected. A lot of people pour their whole identity into just one thing and when what they hope for doesn’t work out, it shakes their confidence.  I personally try to handle these situations by thinking “It wasn’t meant for it to work and there is something better for me!” It’s easier to get caught up in a negative cycle rather than work harder to improve your situation. I would rather just bust my ass to make it better because in the long run, this is what is most important to me. Life isn’t always going to bend over backwards for you, so you should always make the most out of what you can. When life gives you oranges, you make Screwdrivers.

The best advice I can give on improving your self worth is, make decisions as though you have all of the confidence in the world. At some point,  your feelings will catch up with your actions. I have literally mastered the art of not giving a shit. It wasn’t something that happened overnight, but if I am rejected or ‘wronged’, it doesn’t break me. I am aware that  people are short-sighted and have free will. You can’t blame yourself and you have to remember that you are good enough.  Even if you’ve messed up, use it as an opportunity to learn something new. It is one of the biggest secrets of a truly confident person.

Veronica Varlow had an awesome post yesterday on building a circle of seven. It’s all about making you own circle of inspiration when you need it the most. What are some ways you look for inspiration? How do you build your confidence?

Stay confident and lovely,

Latanya Rene