Love is blind.


This post is going to be a bit different as far as “fun” topics but I will try my best to make it as fun as possible. I have had the amazing honor to be on several episodes of the Black Girl Nerds Podcast. Last night’s topic was on interracial relationships and you can give it a listen, here.

Before the show, I was super excited because i’ve dated multiple races and had a lot to say on the topic. Also, I might add if it wasn’t for the “swirl” I wouldn’t exist. The show ended on a somewhat intense but brilliant note. The overall podcast was an hour and a half but there was still SO much to be said and hopefully we will be able to have a part-two for this topic.  The discussion made me think of things I never have thought of and never realized a lot of people still have to deal with in 2013. I mean, you would think a lot of these problems would be dissolved by now.

Currently, I am being courted by someone who is white but it never once was a thought in my mind that, “Man, this is going to be a challenge because we have different color skin”. I go into most relationships thinking “This is going to be a relationship and it is going to be hard as hell!” Most relationships are a challenge on their own without race even being in the equation.

In my personal life, I have dealt more with black men having a problem with me dating outside of my race, more so than black women. Like i’ve mentioned last night on the show, it’s due to them not being able to date me because I am in a relationship. But for some reason the fact that the person has a different skin color, it is the first thing they notice. They say things like “You think you’re too good for black men” and a mixed bag of other nonsense and it seriously blows my mind. What decade are we in? Aren’t we supposed to be smarter as a people?

It’s pretty shit state of things when people are still caught up on who people can and can not love. Black or white, male or female, what happened to love being blind? We all face difficulties in our lives and I feel like a lot of people manufacture complications that are completely unnecessary. Why do so many find it necessary to give their opinion on who someone loves?

I really hope we get around to talking more about this topic on the podcast because it’s something that needs to be addressed. We all need to love one another (more than ever) and stop the bullshit.

Stay sexy Gotham!


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6 Responses to “Love is blind.”

  1. Brandi says:

    As a white girl in an interracial relationship I always love hearing the other side’s opinion and your podcast was no exception. Thank you so much for sharing with all of us.

    I will say that I went into my husband and my relationship knowing that I might lose my family over it. I was pleasantly surprised when everyone except my mother completely fell in love with him right away, even my sometimes overtly racist uncle. And my mom came around pretty quick after her sister told her she was being stupid and once she realized she would lose her daughter if she kept being so narrow minded. It was a pretty interesting conversation when I called her racist and she took offense, though.

    Where we live, in central Virginia, there is still a lot of resistance, although no one has ever directly confronted us. The dirty looks tend to generally come from older white men and black women. My husband notices both sets far more than I do, but I float through life pretty oblivious to all sorts of judgement.

    It’s interesting to me, because both of our families love our spouses, but they have both expressed that they wished we would have married within our race. They try to write it off as non-racist, i.e. “You’ll have a hard time?” “what if you have kids and they’re picked on” and in my husband’s case there was some stuff about carrying on the line of dignified and educated black people.

    Our best friends are the reverse of us, he’s white/she’s black, so we don’t think we’re weird, so many of our friends are of varying races and mixes, but the opposition still exists for sure.

    Sorry for the long, rambly comment. Just wanted to share and thank you for helping give me even more insight.

    • Thank you SO much for sharing this!

      Yeah, it’s pretty rough on both ends of things it seems and it’s 2013! I am not sure why it’s still a problem and it’s ugly.

      I am fortunate enough to come from a pretty mixed family as is so no one cares about who you bring home really as long as there is love and you’re happy.

      I am so happy that you guys are strong enough and in love enough to overcome such ego driven bullshit that a lot of people have an issue with for no reason.

      You guys are my heroes!

  2. Reese says:

    I love this post. I’m engaged to a white guy and some of the looks/snide comments we get when we’re out and about are just plain ridiculous. It’s disheartening to realize that in this day and age it’s still “frowned upon.”

    Apparently I’m not alone in this though, a few months back a friend of mine pulled me aside and said that a mutual friend of ours was going around telling people that “I thought I was too good for black guys.” And yet they’re the first ones to tell me that our daughter is so beautiful. Sad, right?

    At this point in our relationship we’ve just decided to ignore, ignore, ignore.

    Anyhow, great post. Looking forward to reading more


    • Thank you so much for reading and sharing, Reese!

      That is completely ridiculous. Why does it have to be a matter of “thinking you’re too good”. I think the proper response should be “I am good enough to be happy in love and I am embracing this relationship in which I deserve”. It’s a totally different story that people think that dating outside of your race is a sign that you think you’re better and it makes me question how that person really feels about themselves.

      I am happy that your love is strong enough where you can ignore it and it is people like you that will continue to make the world a beautiful place.

  3. MJ Valentine says:

    It’s amazing to me that interracial relationships are still an issue. We have a very different culture surrounding interracial relationships in Australia, and as far as I’m aware it isn’t really considered to be a major issue if you are in a relationship with someone of a different race. I just fail to understand why people think it matters. It’s crazy! And it’s no one else’s business!

    • I couldn’t agree with you more. No one has a right to say anything about who someone chooses to love. Love is why we are here and people need to remember that. So many egos out there and it’s not cute.

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