How to deal with being criticized and not critiqued.


We all should surround ourselves with people that support us and believe in us. It should be one of the main goals when building your circle of friends. Something that can easily sneak into your circle of friends is a Judge-y Julie. You know, that one friend that seems to think they are doing you good when what they are telling you is coming from a negative and dark place. They think they are giving you a positive critique but really, they are just criticizing your every step.

I’ve been coming across some Judge-y Julies lately and I thought this would be the best time for a post like this to happen. Call it jealousy, angry, or whatever, we all know these people are looking to bring down others just to make themselves feel better. I am not sure how projecting their thoughts and emotions onto someone else will help their situation at all, but hopefully this how to guide will help you be able to deal with them the next time they come around. Here is how to handle someone in your life that is criticizing your every move.

Don’t worry, be happy! Most Judge-y Julies are pretty unhappy people. It’s important to play detective and really think about what is making this person act the way they are acting. People that are judging you are usually doing this to cover their own insecurities 99.9% of the time. They often have a bunch of negative rubbish going on in their lives and use this method as their defense.

Lend a ear. It may sound crazy but actually listening to the person instead of fighting back might make the person criticize you less. I personally try to use most of this judgement as a learning experience. Try to see the positive in the negative even if it is very difficult. It will put you that much above the judgement and possibly help you.There is always a possibility there is SOME truth in what the person is saying but maybe not. Just hear them out before pulling out your sword.

“Why thank you good sir!” Thanking the person for their opinion might throw the person for a loop. The person is looking for drama. If you just simply agree, they will have nowhere to go with the criticism. It will more than likely just stop there because they didn’t get what they wanted from the initial judgement.

Confidence looks super sexy on you. If someone is judging you it isn’t coming from any positive place. Don’t let these criticism get you down. Know that you’re amazing and brilliant and the best unicorn on the block. Always be proud of yourself and the fact that you’re working towards your goals. The Judge-y Julie isn’t perfect! Why are you letting her bring you down?

Speak up for yourself! The best thing you can do in the situation is tell the person how they are making you feel. Let them know that they are being hurtful and if they cared they would stop being a jerk-face. Just keep it friendly! Do not say this in a harsh or threatening way or this will indeed start an argument.

Everyone has an opinion, and there is really nothing at all wrong with this. Some people just don’t have a filter on their opinion and frankly don’t give a shit how you feel after they express it. Try to chuckle off the comments and remember that these Judge-y Julies are speaking from their faults and failures and it is possible they really think they are helping.

I understand the rude remakes can make you not want to move forward with your goals and dreams. You decided to follow these goals and dreams because you knew that it will help you get to where you are happiest. Don’t let someone pass their shortcomings onto you. It’s not right, at all. Never feel as if you have to explain yourself to anyone and if all else fails, fake it until you make it so the Judge-y Julies have nothing negative to say. Typically, if you feel as if you can’t achieve something, that idea was put there by someone else.

Remember there is a big difference between positive and negative feedback. You should always be able to tell the difference. Do you know a Judge-y Julie? How do you handle her (or him, there can be a Judge-y John)? I would love to hear about your experiences and how you personally handled the situation.

Proud survivor of judgement,
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3 Responses to “How to deal with being criticized and not critiqued.”

  1. Chelle says:

    first i side eye…then my yoga zen kicks in and give them a lovely thank you. most of the time i’ve come across a judgey julie, its due to some sort of envy or just plain old being a know it all. i cannot tell you how much the term, “this is what you should do…” irritates me. i’m open to advice, open to criticism…but don’t act all high and mighty knowing what i should do. i’m welcome to a brief “could” and “may i suggest.”.

  2. Tisa Hats says:

    This design is wicked! You definitely know how to keep a reader amused. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Fantastic job. I really loved what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!

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