Envy killed the Elephant : Part II

Photo by LiLou 

When I think of jealousy, I tend to think of evil queens and witches in fairytales. That evil queen would have never poisoned Snow White unless she wasn’t completely jealous. I now bring you the follow up on my rant about jealousy in which I began last week. I feel like a lot of folks hold on to things that are completely out of their control (and sometimes within their control). I hope these tips in which I use are helpful. There is nothing more troublesome than letting negative fester.

We are trained to be competitive. To always have the best, biggest, and greatest. Because this is something we are taught very early on, it’s hard not to compare ourselves to others. The reality is everyone has flaws. How many times have you hung out with someone you thought ‘had it all’ and realized that person has a lot of hidden struggles themselves? Most of these ‘perfect’ people have perfected the concept of hiding their flaws. Instead of worrying about what you don’t have, worry more about your positive traits. What do you bring to the table? What skills do you have? How awesome is your collection of comic books or fashion magazines? Once you bring the attention back to the positive, your confidence typically will grow. That positive energy will assist with manifesting other great things that you’re longing for. You’re sure to get fantastic results.

You can’t have jealous feelings without the assistance of someone else. With that said, a lot of angry jealous energy comes from a lack of making yourself happy. That might sound completely nuts but when you think about it, if you’re looking for attention from someone else it’s possible you can fill that ‘need’ on your own. Take a look at yourself for a moment. What is  making you feel as if you need that other person to make you ‘happy’? It could be as easy as doing an activity that makes your happy. Always look at your true intentions and what will really make you giddy like cray-cray happy.

Do the complete opposite of what a jealous person would do. When you feel jealousy taking over, don’t assume, give the silent treatment, slash tires, throw things, angry text, drop obscure and sarcastic hints, Facebook/Twitter stalk, send horrible things to their house, throw out their belongings, or give them things baked with poison. Try what a trusting sane person would do instead. If you’re upset because your friend is hanging out with someone else, recommend a good place to eat or a great movie that just came out. If someone else gets the job that you want, be nice instead of being sneaky. Congratulate the person and offer to help them be successful. Only good things can come from this! The more good you put into the universe the more good will come to you. Obviously, you have to mean what you’re saying so stop being a jerk. Envy is an ugly beast…no one wants to be an ugly beast.

Photo by Evie L. Wray 

Recognize the bitch that is paranoia. Jealousy causes you to react to a fantasy scenario that’s all in your mind. Stick to the positive fantasies, those tend to have better outfits and a way better outcome. The bad things you’re making up in your head may never come to play. If they do, shit happens! You’re a tough cookie and you can handle it. You should develop a great support system of friends and family. This support team of awesomeness will have your back and help you move on to be a better person.

Don’t lose sight of your feelings. Always, always, always listen to your gut but if you start feeling jealous, your emotions are telling you something is happening. Something that you’re simply just not okay with and that’s fine. Figure out what the real issue is behind these feelings and most of the time you’ll realize what needs to be corrected to make you feel better. Ultimately, jealousy is a fear-based behavior. What you can end up doing is creating a situation where bad things could happen. You think negative, you bring negative. It is science and it’s also ironic.  

Working to never be an ugly beast,

Latanya Rene

 

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6 Responses to “Envy killed the Elephant : Part II”

  1. Rubu says:

    Great post. People need to realize that the success of others shouldn’t take away from their own, otherwise it’s just a race to the bottom. Strive to be your own personal best. Like attracts like, so stay positive!

  2. Thank you darling! <3

    Literally as I wrote this post a 'friend' basically bashed me for what I want to do with my life. I am opting to no longer be in contact with this person. I felt like he validated a lot of what I was saying. It's funny how that works out.

    But yes, like attracts like. It's lovely how that works out. Thank you for always being so supportive and lovely.

  3. Dara says:

    This is awesome! I can’t remember who said it, but there’s a quote about there always being room at the top. I think it’s true! Even if there are people out there who look like they’re doing better than us, they don’t hold a monopoly on success. Sometimes that’s hard to remember, but there’s definitely more than enough happiness to go around without taking any away from anyone else!

  4. vanessa bruno says:

    Of course if you read our column at all, you know that I don’t endorse this kind of behavior as there is seldom a happy finish. vanessa bruno

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